Influence Through Relationship

"Title, position, and authority may hold power, but influence travels through relationships." -Erwin McManus

This is so true. The interesting thing about influence is that it can be either a positive or negative force in an individual's life. I hope we all have positive influencers that drive us forward and challenge us to be our best selves, but I think we probably all have some negative influencers.
The older I get, the more I believe that we all make choices in everything we do; we may say that we have no choice, but rarely is that actually the case. In the case of negative influencers, I think it is wise for us to limit our exposure and counter that negative influence with things that inspire us, challenge us, and draw us forward toward the goals we have set for ourselves.

When I think about the people who have had lasting positive influence in my life, the people that come to mind are those who invested in relationships with me. And not just surface relationships... relationships in which I could be authentic and accepted. This is not to say that these people allowed me to stay where I was, quite the contrary. They cared enough to accept me, but challenged me to move forward and accomplish things that I may have been too afraid to try before.

In his book Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell (1993)  writes, "Sociologists tell us that even the most introverted individual will influence ten thousand other people during his or her lifetime!" (p. 2). So really, you will impact someone-- but you have to choose what kind of an influencer you will be. Will you be a positive influencer? One who drives people to be the best they can be? Who believes in their possibilities, strengths, and dreams and speaks life to their fears and failure? Or will you be a negative influencer? One who contributes to stagnation, laziness, wounding those with whom you come in contact, or tearing others down? The choice is ours.

I think it's also important to note that we all have a choice in how we will respond to the influencers in our lives. There are some cases where the people who could and should be our biggest cheerleaders are not. In that case, we have to make the best of the situation that we can, but if possible, plan to make changes as soon as possible.

Who are the influencers in your life? Who are you influencing?


Source: Maxwell, J. (1993). Developing the leader within you. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.