"America, you're sending girls a mixed message..."

I have another article recommendation, particularly for those who have daughters or who work with teenage or soon to be teenage girls. It is especially powerful because it was written by a 13 year old.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/adora-svitak/would-you-buy-this-for-yo_b_925117.html?ncid=webmail2

"America, you're sending girls a mixed message. On one hand you're saying to have positive body image and love who we are, on the other we're being marketed makeup and clothing that obviously turns us into someone different."

This story is not an exaggeration by any means; I've witnessed countless girls wrestle with these thoughts, and I've also seen those who have achieved their goals turn and wound those who do not meet the "standards." My heart has broken so many times as I've watched girls (ranging anywhere from age 8 and up) be convinced that they must look and act a certain way to be desirable or acceptable. They have been convinced that they are only valuable when someone else wants them, and in order to have someone want them, they have to be a certain thing, wear a certain size, or look a certain way. It's nonsense, but where is it being countered? Certainly not in the stores, on the runways, in the magazines, on television, in movies, in music, etc. etc. etc.

We must be the force.

Our girls are not valuable because they are beautiful. Our girls are valuable because they are smart, unique, kind, gentle, fierce, witty, courageous, honest, competitive, diligent, AND beautiful-- they must know that their value is not defined by a waist or cup size, that they are as valuable at size 16 as they are at size 6. Is it important to take steps to be healthy (healthy... not skin and bones)? Absolutely. But are you less valuable if you weigh more or don't look a particular way? Absolutely not.

So let's teach them that what is inside is more important, that beauty is fleeting, and that someday, they'll look back at pictures of themselves and think 1. "I can't believe I used to think I was____________ (fill in the blank with some self-deprecating thought that wasn't actually based on reality)" and 2. "What the heck was I thinking wearing that??" Beauty can be gone in an instant; the things we cultivate in ourselves, however, can be of true, lasting value. Let's demonstrate and teach our girls what is lasting; let's teach them that honesty is beautiful, that kindness is beautiful, that confidence is beautiful, that courage is beautiful, that strength is beautiful, that achievement is beautiful, and that integrity is beautiful.

Dove is one company who comes to mind who is trying to address this issue. In fact, Dove has some great resources for moms and daughters available on their social mission portion of the website: http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/
They've been addressing the fact that we have unrealistic expectations and aspirations in our pursuit of beauty with their 2006 "Evolution" film (which currently has more than 13 million views on Youtube!): http://youtu.be/iYhCn0jf46U This is something that I have used with teenage girls, and they all have responded very well to it. It certainly has opened up the topic for discussion, and I think that is an important first step.